This is not considered jumping on the bandwagon...

But, since a good many people have a blog... I decided it might just be a good idea for me to get one too. Sort of an electronic journal for all that God is doing in my life so that I can share it with others, and hopefully ultimately encourage them. First things first: God gave me a reality check today... THREE TIMES.


Zach asked me again if I'd go to Elevation church with him. This time my life wasn't going crazy on me, so I said sure. I'll admit, I am a stubborn person. And it's really common for me to already have a preformed opinion about something before I experience it for the first time. Well, I know it's common for big churches that are into being "contemporary" and "relative" to get lost in gaining people instead of being found in the Word. I asked God to show me how to have an open heart so that through the experience I could grow closer to Him. Holly was praying for me too. When we got to the church, I was like "Oh great, this is going to be so in-your-face." And you know what? It was. But in a good way. I felt so prideful and ridiculous when the focus of Steven Furtick's preaching was obviously God. I realized really quicklike that I had been judgmental and foolish... and selfish. I was concerned with my own rude thoughts, and not the truth. None of those are things God looks upon with a smile.
I also found myself getting a little upset when I didn't know the songs they were singing. I kept thinking "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SING UNTO THE LORD... WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M SINGING?!" Almost instantaneously I realized I was being selfish, again. Worship is not about us. Worship through song is not about us. Worship through our lives is not about us. Worship, in every way the term can be used, is about GOD. We are worshiping Him. He is NOT worshiping us. Our needs and wants should not be catered to. What is important is that we are singing the songs, living the life, listening to the words, for His glory. We are doing it to focus on Him... and be in awe of Him. My experience took a 180 degree turn after that.
And the third time He checked me in the reality area had to do with myself and my mom. A couple of times today we got in an argument over some seriously small stuff. I think she wasn't going somewhere as quickly as I wanted her to and I wasn't doing something as quickly as she wanted me to. Something extremely minuscule. That was before WIRED tonight. We discussed the end of James 3 and the beginning/middle of James 4. Over and over again the idea of selfishness and concern for self comfort and pleasures and desires came up. Well foo. I know I struggle when it comes to being a humble servant... and it's worse when it's with my parents for various reasons. But when I got home, I talked to my mom about what we discussed in church. As I was talking I saw how blatantly obvious it was that I had been selfish earlier. This selfish stuff has come out of nowhere.

I don't know why God brought it into my life so prominently and so quickly, but I know there is a purpose. He wants to tell me something. He wants to help me. Well. Here I am.