P.S. I love you.

So here I sit... 10:03 p.m. on a Tuesday night. I have a million things, okay maybe 5, running through my head at once. I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan today, and it has taken all of me to put the book down. Is it a good book? Deeper. Amazing book? Maybe. Completely challenging book? Yes.

Sorry for those of you who haven't read it, I won't completely give anything away, but a part of the book must be in this post. The chapter I just finished reading is entitled "you may not finish this chapter." The point being, that I could die before I'm done with the chapter. The first page even. And near the end Francis compares life to a movie. He talks about how we are but a vapor in this life. We are the extra in the movie. Not the waitress that walks up to the table that the main character is at while having dinner. No. We're the guy or girl who is sitting in the back corner of the restaurant facing away from the camera with maybe 30 other people in the same shot. The focus is nowhere near on us. That is what this life should be like. Too many times we want the camera to be on us. WE want to be the main character.

But consider this - when God made the universe, did he consult us about whether or not it was good? No. We weren't there. When He flooded the earth, did He ask if we thought that would be a good idea? No. God doesn't need our opinion. He is the beginning and the end. Period. He doesn't need our approval, nor does He need our opinions. But too often we want to be the main character in this movie called life. We want to take the spotlight off the Creator, the Master, the Holy One, the Main Character, and place it on ourselves. Quite frankly, we need to get over ourselves.

All of creation cries out to us that God is the center of the universe and that is how it always should and always will be. Every creation on the planet and everywhere else in this mass God created beckons us to look to Him.

There's a point to all this, I promise. Crazy Love has begun to humble me. I am starting to see God for the first time as He should be - the main character of this movie. I went outside earlier today to let my horse eat grass. He lives in a sandlot, basically, so I let him out to graze every now and then. (Mind you, this was all before I began reading the book, and I believe it was God's way of preparing my heart.) As I was walking him to the spot I wanted him to eat at, I watched him. He looked beautiful. More beautiful than I had remembered him looking - and I love horses, so you'd think I'd think he was always gorgeous. But for some reason as he walked and I saw his muscles move and his eyes blink and his ears perk up - I was in awe of his beauty.
When I got him to where I wanted him, I sat down on the grass. I love the feeling of grass on a cool spring afternoon. It's amazing to me. My cat Andi came up to me. Now, Andi's a special cat. He likes to climb.... people. Doesn't matter if you're standing up, sitting down, laying down, walking... whatever. He'll climb you. And you know, that gets a little annoying. But today as I was petting him and TRYING to get him to not climb me, I realized all he wants is affection. He just wants me to love on him and pet him and show him I care about him. So I did. I scratched his back, pet his head, and held him against me. His purrs of satisfaction were so loud.
Earlier tonight I began reading Crazy Love. The chapter about this entire world being about God and for God really started to settle into my mind. I felt like I really needed to go outside and look at the stars. I never do that; especially not alone. I took a nice blanket and a light jacket. I laid down and stared up at the blackened sky. One star. Three stars. Twenty stars. A hundred stars came into sight. They were beautiful. I stared at one in particular for a while. I had never looked at a star that closely before. I had never noticed how much a star twinkled. Sure, I sang the song as a child, but I always thought twinkling stars were airplanes in disguise. I was, once again, mesmerized by the beauty I was witnessing. I just laid there, in awe of how gorgeous it was. I spoke to God and told Him how wonderful I thought it was, though I know He already knows. :]
Shortly after this "moment" I heard a faint meoooooow. "Great," I thought. "Andi's back to use me as a rock climbing wall." And of course, there he was. Slowly making his way to where I was sprawled out. Again, he wanted love and attention. I could not stay outside any longer. I knew I HAD to come inside to write a blog. Something was aching inside of me and I knew it was God. As I walked down the hill to my house I could hear the God's choir: the birds whistling, the crickets chirping, my horse murmuring as I walked by. I smelled the sweet honeysuckle that laces my driveway. I started walking faster. I did NOT want to lose this.

So now here I am. Writing this blog. I know, I know, I haven't reached a point yet... but here it is.
This life is about God. All was created by God and for God, and therefore all creation reflects some aspect of God. My horse's beauty as we walked to our destination - stunning. God is a magnificent God. A wonderful, beautiful, and captivating God. Andi's constant yearn for love - heartbreaking. God wants us. He wants a relationship with us and He chooses to pursue us. And what do we do? We push him away, as I did Andi the first few times. The twinkling stars in the night sky - delicate and detailed. God is so awesome and creative that He gave everything such intricate detail. Down to the smallest particle, the tiniest indention in this life... He molded everything. He gave the stars a twinkle that we can only see when we focus closely on them. What makes you think He doesn't care about your life and what's going on in it? The night choir and the honeysuckle - enchanting. Our God is an enchanting God. He woos us with pleasing fragrances and sweet symphonies. He made those things for Himself, to glorify Himself, and to magnify Himself. But He wants us to enjoy them. He wants to give them to us. He loves us, He wants for us to see this world and think, "Wow. There are no words to describe how absolutely breathtaking our God is." But we don't do it. We look at these animals, we see nature, we hear the sounds of the world and we think "Oh... just another day." Like Francis Chan says, "No. This is not just another day." God has given us so much of His world. Everything was made to glorify Him. Nature is screaming out the greatness of God, why aren't we?