I'm beautiful.

A while back I did a blog about the guy I'm going to marry. Well, doing a blog doesn't exactly make it official. We still have doubts, we still feel worthless, we still look to people to define us.
I've asked God multiple times to show me how beauitful I am to Him - to remind me that I'm gorgeous in His eyes. I haven't asked in a while. But this morning I decided I wanted to turn the radio on, which I don't do often while I'm getting ready. I asked God to have something for me as I listened. I haven't been seeking Him as I should, but I wanted to remember He's there. And then there was the song. The song that came on. I cried. God showed me how beautiful I was. The song was "More Beautiful You" - Jonny Diaz. And part of the song was my life word for word. It was uncanning how similar my life has been. Maybe you've all heard the song, maybe not. Either way it was more than a blessing. It was a love song to me. And to all girls. So here are some thoughts. Not too deep, not too intense... but real. Me.

"Little girl twenty-one, the things that you've already done - anything to get ahead.
And you say you've got a man, but he's got another plan - only wants what you will do instead.
Well little girl twenty-one, you never thought that this would come.
You starve yourself to play the part.
But I can promise you, there's a man whose love is true. And he'll treat you like the jewel you are.
'Cause there could never be a more beautiful you.
Don't buy the lies, disguises, hoops they make you jump through.
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do.
So there could never be a more beautiful you."

AHHH. I just want to cry any time I even read the words. Just the first part alone screams out. So many women will do anything to get a man. ANYTHING. And they'll do anything to keep him. They'll compromise their desire for sexual purity just to cling to the "love" they think they have. They do all of that just so they can say they have a man - a future husband - but many men are just using the women for what they'll do. They have other plans. Now, this is not all guys - I know quite a few great ones. This is just a mentality that has become so prominent. And so many girls will starve themselves to fit the perfect girlfriend role. They want to be beautiful, sexy, and loved by the world's standards - not God's. And the next line just brings me so much hope. "But I can promise you, there's a man whose love is true. And he'll treat you like the jewel you are." There WILL be a man who will treat me like the jewel I am. Because there could never be a more beautiful me. No matter what the world tells me, I have been told by the King that I am gorgeous and magnificent in His eyes. One day I will be with someone who will know what he has when he has me. No more degrading. No more belittling. He will love me with a love like Christ loves.
Now, I'm in no hurry. God has perfect timing. Just like He has perfect timing answering my prayer for worth in Him later than I expected. He knew when I'd need the answer the most... and He knows when I'll be ready for the one man to make me feel as wonderful as I really am.

:]