Happily ever after.

The man I marry will prefer me without makeup on. He will not pick on my outgoing personality; instead he will encourage it. The man I spend the rest of my life with will not judge my weight, because to him I'll be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. The man I marry will not merely be a Christian, he will act out his faith by putting Jesus first, others second, and himself last. He will not be perfect, because he will not be Jesus in the flesh. However, he will strive for perfection just as every true child of God should. He will be a man after God's heart. He will be the spiritual leader in the relationship. Going to church will not be burdensome on Sunday morning, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, and whenever else we can get in - it will be what we both look forward to. He will not skip daily devotions with the mindset that he's just too tired or too busy; instead both of us will schedule our lives around God, not the other way around. The man that I marry will never give up on me. He will never think I'm too hyper, too ditzy, too whiny, or too clingy. Whenever I mess up, he will point me to Christ. Instead of letting me wallow in self pity, or play the blame game, he will show me what I could be learning in situations, and how I can better serve God through tough times. He will not be preoccupied with this world. Material objects will not be shunned, but all glory will be given to God when he provides us with earthly things. He will not hit me. He will not verbally abuse me, nor will he look for ways to tear me down. The man that I marry will not go out of his way to make sure I know he could do better. The man that I marry will be the man God gives me; not the one this world tells me I must settle for.

All of this will be true of me as well.

Last night I sat and I thought. I thought of all of my faults. I thought of all of the bad things guys have said to me. I thought of all of the times I was told I was not good enough, whether through actions or words. I thought of how I truly will never be good enough for any man, so why bother looking? I may as well not even care.

And then I stopped. What was I worrying about? The man that I end up with truly love me for me. He will love me just as Christ does. At camp last week Nathanael Waites was discussing relationships and he said "If their relationship with God is not right, then they cannot love you the way you are meant to be loved." That hit me really hard. I have always thought of finding that person I'm supposed to be with as dependent on me. I have to look a certain way, I have to have a certain personality. But that's wrong. So wrong. And it took me about a year and a half to realize that. Wow. The only thing I have to do is completely be myself. Nothing fake. And the person God has for me will have a true relationship with God, so that he can love me just as I was meant to be loved - not like I've been told I deserve to be loved.