I haven't posted in a while and this blog will attempt to explain why... while explaining a lot of other stuff going on in the life of Sarah.
So! First things first - things in my life are changing, changing, changing. And with change comes some shock and some chaos and some mistakes. And in my case, all of that happened.
I realized about 2 weeks ago that I was trying to give too much of myself in too many areas of ministry. Mostly because I always tell people yes. Who knew that could be such a problem? Too much of a good thing?! WHAT?! But yeah. That happens. And that's what I did. So instead of being involved with WIRED, the church drama team, AWANA, Sunday school, and BCM, I've lessened my load. I now will help with AWANA when needed and back away from BCM. A lot of people may think that it's me backsliding, but it's not. I'm actually cutting back on my areas of ministry so I DON'T backslide! Lately I've been so bogged down with things I HAVE to do... that I've forgotten about longing for and wanting a relationship with my God. I've had Him shoved down my throat in so many ways, that I really just stopped caring about my own quiet time and my own personal relationship with Him. So that is changing. Instead of constantly going and going and giving and giving, I'm going to start feeding myself again. Just so you know - that's going very well at the moment.
Also, I have a hectic schedule anyway. With my mom going back to work in October, I'm going to have to start cleaning around the house more and more again. I used to clean every day and it looks like that's what I'm going to be in for in the next few weeks. Not only will I have house things to do, I'll also have schoolwork, church activities I'm participating in, and oh wait... Sarah wants to have a life too!? Wow. Asking WAY too much! Haha. But yeah. So point being - if you think I am... I'm not backsliding. I'm just stepping back, evaluating my circumstances and lifestyle, and changing it to revolve around God and not the other way around. If that makes sense.
Also, I'm still going through friend and non-Christian bubble shock. God has still been teaching me that I need to befriend those that aren't too strong in their faith, but He's also showing me how important the ones who are strong are as well. Like Courtney C. I miss her so much because of how much she helped me grow and how much she still helps me grow. God is really using this time apart to help me appreciate her more. I'm doing more and more things with not-so-strong Christians, and that's awesome. I love being able to be a light into their lives. It makes me feel like I'm glorifying God and I really just want people to look at me and think of Him.
But of course, with all good things... come bad. And with my stepping out of my Christian bubble, I got attached to a person I shouldn't have... and to put it bluntly I lived and I learned. I started putting my hope into another person instead of into God and I'm trying my best to allow God to fix what I screwed up with Him.
So this blog is kind of random. And sporatic. But, that's what I'm going through... and random and sporatic is what it feels like. I don't know what's going on half the time... I'm just trying to let go and allow God to show me what He's doing and what I should be doing.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Livin' on Love.
"I've learned by now to be quite content, whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much; with much as with little." Philippians 4:12
This verse has been applied to money, to things, to friends, to happiness, and to many other things. I, however, like to think of it as things going my way. And lately I have learned to be quite content in any circumstance God gives me. I'm content with whatever trial I go through or mountain top I bask on, because I know it all comes from God and it all has a purpose. I'm learning to be happy when nothing goes my way... and when everything's going my way. After all, it shouldn't be my way anyway - it should be God's. He knows what He's doing. So why worry about it?
The title of the blog is a song that comes to mind when I hear this verse. - "Livin' on love, buying on time. Without somebody 'nothin ain't worth a dime. It's like an old fashioned story book rhyme, livin' on love. Now it's sounds simple. That's what you're thinkin'. But love could walk through fire without blinkin'. It doesn't take much. You get enough, livin' on love."
Now that song is obviously about loving a person... but I like to think that it can be about loving God. When we love Him dearly, we don't need anything else. We've got that love. Without Him "nothin' ain't worth a dime." So like the verse says, we should be content no matter what we go through, because we've got God. We've got Love.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
When God Writes Your Love Story
"But have you ever thought of your heart as a treasure every bit as valuable as your physical purity? Have you ever felt the pain that comes from casually giving away your heart? From pouring all of yourself into someone, only have to have that precious treasure thrown to the ground and trampled on?"
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